Dealing with rejection from people

Hey guys,

Disclaimer: This is a topic I thought hard about and employed the wisdom of the Holy Spirit and the Bible to help me write. It may not be all-encompassing but I’m sure it will provide a platform with which the Holy Spirit can further instruct you.

Many, I mean most of us have had it rough in life. We have been rejected by people and it’s most painful when it comes from loved ones. Early in my walk with God, I was taught I will not always be accepted by men for many reasons most especially because I am a Christian. My pastor always reminded us (not in his exact words) that a christian should and must learn to develop thick-skin to criticism, mockery and rejection. The truth there is, because of inexperience, pretty many of us break under it and allow bitterness, resentment and anger to set in and we know that these vices destroy. I mean but, we are only human yeah? I totally get you. We have all been there! The feelings just dwell in our sub-conscious mind and without being aware, we act it out.

Interestingly, Jesus was very familiar with rejection. Let’s check out scripture;

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Isaiah 53:3, kjv

So this Man knows what it is you are going through! I mean, the guys He came for rejected him yet, He was a sinless Man. The pharisees rejected and openly confronted Jesus and He wasn’t bothered for once. This was because His heart was right with God. I love that part! Note that, people will love you, I mean, every well-meaning person will love you because grace has got you covered but some will reject you. They will maybe because they have been hurt in times past or they are just plain jealous. Not to worry, you shouldn’t worry.

The bible admonishes us to live at peace with all men as much as we can. Sometimes even when we try to make peace, some people wont just let us be. They abhor us for no good reason. Do not fret when you are rejected by men especially if it is for the gospel’s sake but it is advisable that you check yourself. Their rejecting you may make you feel you did something wrong to them. I’d say, check your conscience to see if that person is just acting out a reflex response. This is to maintain peace with God and man. If you had offended such a person, it is only proper for you to restore that relationship by apologising. God will have you set things straight and not defend yourself irrespective of what the person did. This fosters humility and peace. However, if we are rejected for no just cause, we should never dwell on it. Do not let it linger in your mind for it is a potential stronghold if you nurse it. You would have a peaceful conscience and that’s all you need have.

Most often than not, I know that for those who are not strong emotionally, repeated rejection leads to low self-esteem/self worth. We don’t feel so good after being rejected especially when you have good intentions. Now be reminded that your worth lies in God’s word. Don’t look down on you. You are beautiful! You are loved! You are God’s treasure and you are of great value to him. He loves you and cherishes you so much. Do not let another’s actions drown out His opinion of you. I mean,

He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Romans 8:32, kjv

Isn’t it someone who loves and cherishes that could possibly give His most priced possession to another man for that man’s benefit?

I thought so too…

It is also wisdom to guard our hearts because it is the core of our lives. Jesus never committed himself to men and it would only be wise for us to do the same. He didn’t trust men easily because he knew what was in their hearts. We shouldn’t let the opinions and actions of men affect us negatively and create bitterness in our hearts. God however wants us to love others. 1 Corinthians 13 gives us a picture of what love looks like. You should check it out again.We should leave allowance for people’s faults. Now the difference is that you can go the extra mile out of love for a person not expecting that person to reciprocate. You love not necessarily expecting to be loved in return or for the sole purpose of being loved. If you love for that reason, you’d end up a frustrated individual. You just love because it pleases your Heavenly Father that you do so.

Again, do not commit your emotions to men. Most people suffer hurt after rejection because the put all their emotions into those who rejected them. Instead, commit your emotions to God. You know whatever you keep in God’s hands is safe right? Let your loving another be a response to the love that flows inside of you for your Heavenly Father. This doesn’t make your love towards men less genuine or true. It even makes it better. We don’t love people because they have done right. We love them for it is right! Let people earn your trust before you throw it at them. Let the Holy Ghost guide you on who to trust and then trust them wholly.

On a final note, if ever you find yourself hurting after rejection, I’m pleased to inform you that Our God, Jehovah, still has healing in His wings. If He did it for me, He can do it for you. He loves you enough to make you whole. He loved you before creation began, He hasn’t changed yet and He isn’t about to change His mind! Talk to God a lot. Bare out your heart to him in prayer,

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1peter 5:7, KJV



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