Letters to my future #1

Mma,

You see, when you have gotten to that place, where God is your everything and so much more, you’d stop looking to make-up and young men to validate your beauty. You’d stop chasing paper but you will be a hard worker. You’d stop looking for the next boy to hook-up with or shower you with unconditional love. When it sinks into you that you are worthy, that you are more than just beautiful on the outside, that indeed you are in lack of nothing, that God Himself stretched down His hands and covered you with His grace, that in God you have all you need for every moment, then will your petals begin to blossom. 

I grew up with a complex. I didn’t deem myself intelligent or worthy of special attention from anyone. In the misery of another heartbreak, I found God. I found God in my pits. Little did I know that afterwards, I was to sink deeper. I was going to sink deeper to stand firmer, to rise higher and to experience a deeper measure of acceptance and rest in God. The waters were going to threaten to overwhelm me and more so, kill me. However, here I am, dwelling in that place where God is enough for me.

Out of sorrow’s belly, I have found a place for ministry. In those dark hours of the morning, I was more assured of a calling upon my life. I could speak of purpose and virtue. I could speak of healing, holiness and happiness. I know i’m special to God because each passing moments of life, I feel His arms around me. I feel a tenderness like I’ve never felt before. I feel a grace that I’ve never known before. I feel rest and peace like never before. I feel Him all around me.

Now I can say I’m so much more. I’m more virtuous. I’m loved beyond the boundaries of this earth. I know my worth. I know who and whose I am. There is no way you will walk with God and not have wisdom and virtue planted in you. There is no way you’ll walk with God and not glow like Him. Never look to any man to prove your worth, not even I or your Father.

I gave you a bible last Christmas for your 13th birthday.I hope you loved it. I hope you’ve taken time to read about the 31 woman. The woman whose husband was a prince but yet was a princess long before she married the King’s son. This is the woman God taught me to be. I walked through life, in sync with His Spirit and I found grace upon grace to become. To become strong, intelligent, worthy, beautiful, productive, positive and incomparably virtuous.

When your gaze shifts from everything you are to everything God is and can be in you, you’d become boundless in all your endeavors. You’d be everything you thought you couldn’t be just like I did. You’d be a sweet smelling offering unto your God. You’d be more than just a woman, you’d be a virtuous one. Read the words of Jesus.

Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. Luke 12;7, NIV

 Do you believe? this is how God sees you. Love yourself, just as much as God loves you. Remember, I love you too.

Your mum.