Fighting this good fight…

I can write the longest story about my esteem issues. I had a complex for the longest time of my conscious years and it started when I went to secondary school. I hated many of my classmates because I used to get bullied a lot. I also hated school and I used to get the most sickening feeling as I approached the school gate. You know I couldn’t really figure why I was bullied but I felt it was because I wasn’t so pretty and I never brought many pretty things to school. 
Fast forward to University, I still had my esteem issues to deal with but then I started learning who I really am and that I’m loved PERFECTLY and I don’t have to sit around waiting for love or approval from anyone especially men. I met Ama Apakama  who would always tell me how pretty I am. Much love to you babe 😘😘 I became born again yet every now and then, I still have to fight the feeling of worthlessness / not being this or that enough. Hmmm…

I watched the video of a lady who was bullied and suffered self esteem issues because she was severely burned at 9 and how her face and other parts of her body becabe disfigured. I think she’s even permanently balled. It resonated within me cos I know how hurt / broken one can get when you constantly suffer rejection. It’s women like this I want to hold in my arms and tell them how special they are to God and just how much they are loved by Him. Forgive my over-sentimentality.

I still get sensitive about how people treat me and upset when I’m treated unfairly or unkindly but I’ve learnt that I’m loved far beyond the boundaries of this world irrespective of how I’m treated or what I look like. I’m utterly loved and valued by the one who created both flesh and Spirit. I know better than to treat them how they treat me. People’s actions are not a reflection of your value. How they treat you doesn’t define your worth. I may have to fight this good fight for a long time in my but I know I know I’ve won this one already.


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