Contemporary Lamentations

The pain I suffer is intense. I can’t really describe. It’s one of a kind. All I know is I feel pain and it constantly sucks the life out of me. I don’t want to be bitter. How do I go on like this? My soul is weary within me. My spirit grows faint by the moment. I don’t know if I’m suffering like sinful Israel and Judah or I’m suffering like job. It’s really hard to tell. I can’t really explain because I don’t seem to think straight anymore. Pain has struck me down to the ground. I don’t think I’m well enough to live another day. Self-absorbed thoughts are my companions. My eyes flow freely with tears, unhindered like a mighty torrential waterfall. Suicidal thoughts stroll past every other day. ‘Why can’t this life just end here and now’ are the words on my mind constantly. How can I possibly live life like this? Wouldn’t it have been better if I wasn’t born at all? O wretched soul of mine. Who will save me from my unending grief and sorrow? Who will save me from this soul of death? I’ve heard over and over again that there’s balm to heal in Gilead but where exactly is Gilead? If I knew, I’d be there by now. I’ve read constantly that Jesus came to take my sorrows away. Okay. so what is this pain I feel? I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed and. . . It just seems more torn than the last time. Has Abba abandoned me? Is He right beside me? Abba, please where are You? I need You more than ever right now. I look happy but that’s not the real me. I feel dark on the inside. I may appear strong on the outside but I’m just a pack of jellies on the inside. Ama and Okwuchi keep telling me I’m a strong woman but most times than not, all I see is weakness. I have my moments of ups and downs but my downs seem unending.

*sigh*

“Let him give his cheek to the one who strikes him, And be full of reproach. For the Lord will not cast off forever.”

Oh mine! I can so relate to that. I was struck so many times but without complain, I bore it all. I sat alone and bore it because I was too ashamed to state my grief to anyone. Why? *sigh* I’m consumed with reproach. I feel like reproach. Truth is, I don’t even want to complain. I just want to be ok. That’s all I ask— To be whole again. . .or is that too much to ask? “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!” I’m patiently waiting. Patiently hoping. Patiently praying. I’ll keep praying no matter how long it takes me. I’ll never stop because I know in there, I shall be whole again. It may tarry, but I’ll be whole again. Don’t ask me what’s wrong with me because I don’t even know. Yes! Its that Bad. I just came to rant on WordPress. LOL

So here’s my little sermon to you today. . .
If you ever at anytime in your life feel this way, know that,

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly For the salvation of the Lord. Lam 3: 25, 26

He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds — Psalm 147:3

The Word of God can be trusted. We can put our confidence in Him (The Word). He can be depended on. This is my confidence. This is most certainly my assurance
😀

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Bound yet free!

Surely now I can lift my hands from the highest mountain in ecstasy

Surely now I can accomplish all of me

Surely now I know true freedom

Because. . .

You see,

It wasn’t a waste of time

Neither a powerless or empty endeavor

When my Lord died for me

And resurrected, full of power on His third day

Completely erasing the nature of the evil one in me

It indeed is freedom

Unfettering me from the clutches of hell

From sin, from sickness

From the fear of death

From the fear of the future

From the fear of the unknown

From fear itself

Unshackling me from chains that so tightly held me bound

When I was ignorant

So ignorant as to reject His gift

When I groped in darkness

And was neck-deep, wallowing in sin

Totally void of light and life

When I was careless

Not caring much about His freedom package

His death, much more His resurrection bought my freedom warrant

Accepting His gift, We sealed the deal

So now you see I’m free

I’m forever free

I’m sure you see that now

 Liberated, released,

Free from the many manipulations of the devil

Unhindered, living for Him that paid freedom’s price

But to Him I’m most certainly bound

Bound but possessing eternal life

Sold to slavery, yet absolutely free

Jesus gave me my freedom yet I choose His chains

I didn’t reject those chains

I didn’t hold back

Freely I accepted it

Gladly I took up my cross

And eagerly followed Him

That I may live not unto myself

But unto Him who so generously purchased my freedom

Now I’m sure you understand

When I say I’m bound but free nonetheless

I’m His bondservant, bound in freedom

Freely serving, freely living

Freely enjoying abundant life

Free from worries and cares of this world

Free from the curse of the law

Wholly free from evil

At liberty, yes utterly free!

Free and Complete in Him!

 

. . . I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.   —- Jesus

If the Son therefore shall make you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:36

And that He died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto Him which died for them, and rose again. 2co 5:15

My Psalm 126

This Psalm is a Psalm that was always recited before offering was taken in my church in my undergraduate days. In case you are wondering what church that is, its the Youth Church of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, The Incubator, Dideolu Estate, VI, Lagos, Nigeria AKA JoshuaVille. Because of this, I developed love for it. My Bible Study Family #LA187Family who all totally rock by the way, happens also to be studying this Psalm today. So therefore, I decided to write and share my own version. I hope this blesses You. Please enjoy!

When the Lord changed our stories
We thought we were dreaming.
We could hardly believe our eyes.
Then we could finally laugh and sing for joy.

We heard neighbours whispering to each other.
“The Lord has given them testimonies”.
Indeed the Lord has given us something to testify about and we shall not hesitate to tell every one.
Young and Old! Rich and poor!
Abba, Continually give us testimonies and tales of your greatness in our lives.
As for those that grieve in their hearts and haven’t gotten one yet, soon you shall have something to tell your neighbours with joy on your lips.
The man that goes to God sowing tears and asking God to do something precious shall without a shadow of doubt come again to God, this time with thanksgiving on his lips and an evidence of God’s greatness.

😀

Come!

This poem is a little long but I just couldn’t stop writing as I picked my pen. I hope it ministers to you the way it does to me.

He keeps beckoning
Night and day
To the sons of men
As of the voice of many waters
Echoing, “Come up higher
Let’s fellowship on high
Let me set you on a rock that’s higher than
high
Come empty handed
Come without a dime
I’ve shed my blood
Redemption’s exuberant price has been paid
Oh men, young and old
Can ye not see?
Power avails in abundance
To make you strong
Power never ceases to cleanse”

He is ready
Armed with strength to the teeth
To raise them
As Pillars, As corner stones
As jewels, glowing
Ever showcasing His splendour and majesty
As spectacles to the world

He craves to exhibit their worth
To put them on full display to the world
As heavenly generals
Fighting tirelessly and conquering
Submerged in the excellence of His strength
As people of great importance
Far worthy than all the earth’s royalty and beauty fused together
Far Priced above precious stones and gold
Yea, even all the fine gold of the earth.
As His pride
Clearly inscribed in the palm of His hands
For all in the universe to see

He hopes they hearken to His voice
He hopes they give attention to His cry
He hopes they approach
wasting time no further
Both man and woman alike
Both great and small
He hopes they listen
He hopes they respond
Eager, thirsty
Ready to drink of the water
Which He so freely offers to give

Abba hopes they realise their worthiness
He hopes they stand tall
in the face of their ‘adversary’
And remind him of Love’s free gift
And the already paid bargain for their return
And the blood which so freely flowed
At calvary’s hills
And how He raised them
And so completely won the battle for their souls

He Keeps crying out
Loud as ever could be
‘Here I am. Come unto me’
“I have rest so bountiful
To supply, to freely bestow”
He is undeniably ready
To restore, to refresh, to make whole
So they lack nothing

He hopes they give ear
He hopes they make it on high
And end up warmed with ecstasy
In His heavenly bosom
Where the beautiful fusion occurs
Between man and Eloah
And they bond
life without end.

Moments of solitude

Have you ever felt like your life was on a race track, It was moving too fast before your eyes and you just couldn’t keep up? Or you were so overwhelmed with all the day’s activities, you felt life was breaking you and you were at the edge of snapping into pieces? Or maybe you’ve even felt so exhausted in your mind that you just wanted to vanish into thin air. Or Probably you’ve felt like a sea of negative emotions were dragging you deeper and deeper into its unrepentant waves? Yeah, some may say these are extreme cases but as you know we all experience tiredness not only in our bodies but in our souls so whatever the case, we are left undone. Trust me, I totally get you. There just happens to be those days in our lives and you wish for wellness again. It’s days like that we just need a getaway. A getaway unlike the usual. Let me explain further.

Now, you know that in times like that we need to go back to God and find rest and healing but I personally believe that such moments as above are reserved for us to remain still in the presence of God. How do I mean? I mean that we should come to Yahweh’s presence not to pray and certainly not to sing or worship but just to remain still with arms open wide in surrender, not uttering words but with all our focus on Him basking in His healing anointing. Don’t get me wrong, we should pray and praise and worship on a regular but also like the preacher said, there is a time to every purpose and thing under heaven. We should just forget all those overwhelming emotions and situations and allow the Holy Spirit move over us just as He did in Genesis 1:2. He spoke over the waters and they came alive! I dare say that when He’s spoke over the earth, there was restoration. Hallelujah! We should therefore be attentive to His voice as we remain still, quiet and calm in our whole being and allow Him speak life and healing and restoration! This is something I learnt that the sweet Holy spirit taught me to do.

Remember the words of the Psalmist (king David) in Psalm 23? Let’s revisit some certain verses.
“He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters: He restores my soul.” Vs 2 &3a
First, God made him lie down comfortably. He then led him to a place of stillness and Bam! He sends in restoration!!! He restored his soul (his mind and his emotions). God is indeed good! He understands that moments will arise when we need His restoring power for our souls. How amazing!!! I just love the Lord. He fulfils our every need ranging from love to restoration. Of a truth, He indeed is an amazing God! So sweetheart, when it feels like life is suffocating every bit of your nerve, I suggest you go into God’s presence and just bask in it; in stillness and quietness and calmness. I’d finish up with some lines from one of my favourite Hillsong song – Still.
“Find rest my soul in Christ alone. Know His power in quietness and trust”.

Stay restored and whole.
The lady with the smiley
😀

Charged to win!

I was dressing up early yesterday morning and suddenly, a song my mama always sings popped into my head. I believe it was a message from the Holy Ghost. A charge to go out!!! Here goes. 😀

Many are waiting in darkness and sin
Waiting the story of Jesus to hear
Many are dying in sin and in woe
Jesus said tell them, but who then will go?
Who then will go? Who then will go?
Millions are dying today!
Who then will go? Oh, who then will go?
Hasten! We cannot delay!

God’s plan now depends upon you!
God’s plan now depends upon you!!
There’s no other way that the lost ones will know.
God’s plan now depends upon you!!!

For the most part, evangelism has been pushed to the background by a lot of Christians. I mean both personal and corporate. I’m totally guilty of this too. Evidently, I heard on Sid Roth’s show that, it had been predicted that only 4% of Christians in the next generation will be evangelical Christians. Shocking statistic right? I must admit, growing up in the faith, there were times that I was scared to talk to almost anyone about Jesus. It aint easy, I must say. However, I did open my mouth. You see, worst case scenario, you would be snubbed, rudely spoken to, laughed at or insulted. Jesus went through so much more. In fact, in the Bible’s exact words, “…they laughed Him to scorn”. It wasn’t once or twice. It was done on several occasions. When I read this, I asked myself- why then wouldn’t I tell someone about His sacrificial love? I must. I just must!!

Angels can’t preach this good news. It is only fair for the heirs of salvation; the people who received the benefits of this love to preach and spread that message. I must tell you now, GOD’S PLAN NOW DEPENDS UPON YOU!!! You touch His heart by bringing people to Him. How beautiful are the feet of they that share the good news. For this cause, the entirety of your life is made beautiful. We must be available! We must say, ‘Here am I; Send me’ like Isaiah and then, go forth because God keeps asking “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Today, go out and preach the good news to all creation. There is a crown of life that awaits you. Hasten! We cannot delay!!

The Lady with the smiley 😀
@ifeoluwaolunu
Remain Blessed.

Born anew by the cross

A beautiful piece written not by me but by a son of the Most High, an inspiration and a dear friend. Please enjoy!!!

Everything I have is a result of the cross. On that hill far away, distant both in space and time Elyon’s son died a most brutal death. His blood was shed even before the foundations of the world were laid. God saw me and knew that He had to make a plan for my redemption. This is the beauty of the cross. At his weakest point Christ was stronger than all. He bore the shame, embraced the sickness, and swallowed up death in victory.
I look within and see an endless chasm of chaos. I find myself at odds with the identity I am supposed to have. The word says I am more than conqueror but I find myself at the receiving end of defeats day in and day out. The word says I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus yet I stink of iniquity. It is as though the devil has me bound in his cage and I cannot help but whimper and cry.
But now I know that we know no man according to the flesh. I was birthed in heaven above the stars, far beyond the reaches of principalities and power. And though my outward man may fade and crumble I know that the fabric of my spirit is the righteousness of the Son of Elyon. I understand that I am Adonai’s beloved. I am blessed beyond borders, greatly enriched with the overflow of grace and mercy.
So I surrender my thoughts to Christ. I give my all to Him. Even my doubts, my weaknesses, my everything I give to him. Because everything I have is a result of the cross. I rejoice in my weakness, for it is at this point that His grace shines strongest. I rejoice because as the blood ran down the cross, as the son yielded his spirit, I was born anew.
I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I choose to believe this, I choose to embrace this. I choose this as my reality. I am the New Creation. This is my language, this is my profession, and this is my confession.

As told by Jos3ph
😀

Prophecies Reminisced

It was the fifth day in the month of May in 2012. Evidently, it was my birthday. It was like every other day for me but the thought that it was my day made me excited. After all, it was the day I was born some twenty-something years ago (No, No, I aint telling you my age) and yes, the spotlight was on me without any doubt. I, in spite of this, felt rather bizarre because it was the day when I got noticed out of the blues and people I do not know or hardly even say hello to come chanting ‘happy birthday’ from left right and centre. Whatever! Who cared anyway? I didn’t though. I just promised myself I was gonna enjoy it despite the fact I knew painfully well that again, I wasn’t going to receive any gifts. No boyfriend, so in order words… ( you fill in the blank spaces ). My parents didn’t have the culture of buying gifts either so basically nothing was forth coming. On a honest note, I wasn’t bothered. Being alive with God by my side was ample for me. As usual, I received a couple of calls from friends and family and went about the day’s activities. Earlier in the day, I told God that all I wanted was to hear from Him and know a little about my future and I wanted that to happen through divine utterance. At about 4pm, I dragged a friend to grab my cake at cakes and cream. It was the least I could do to celebrate my birthday with my family in school- I mean, my fellowship. I had a meeting that day and on getting back, I was late but at least I had a story to tell. They wouldn’t have forgotten so easily. ‘Hello! Today is my birthday, remember?’ I was ready to reply anyone that dared to challenge me. Anyway, it was a ritual in my fellowship that anyone celebrating his or her birthday was to be prayed for and prophesied upon so I was expectant. Actually, I was looking forward to this day. Afterwards, I was prayed for but just as we started, lo and behold, prophecies came pouring forth, some of which I didn’t even believe when I heard them. A close friend of mine said something about me holding a pen. I knew it had something to do with writing. All I heard made my day though. Honestly, it was enough for me. After I heard all those amazing prophecies, I couldn’t help but rejoice in my spirit. Time after time, God kept sending people to give me messages and re-affirm me of His plans for me. Truth be told, afterwards, I could only remember a few. I made an enormous mistake!

*Stay with me! This is more than a story, I promise*.

Moving swiftly to the same day a year after, it being a Sunday made my day quite exciting too. I went to Church and gave a thanksgiving dance offering to God. Afterwards, it was my same old boring story. No gifts but calls, pings and friends all over me. I was grateful for them all don’t get me wrong. On the other hand, I wished I had the opportunity to be prophesied over again mostly because, in my undergraduate days, I never made a conscious effort to pen down all the numerous prophecies I had gotten.

Some days ago, on my bed, I felt a little cast down in my spirit. A blanket of doubt and fear that the future was bleak and that it held nothing for me covered me. Then again, I remembered some of His words that had been spoken over my life and the ones that have materialised and then I thought to myself ‘if only I had written them down I would remind myself of His thoughts towards me’. Shortly after, Paul’s advice to the Thessalonians came strolling into my head and it hit me hard- I had despised prophecies so to speak. It finally settled that I had taken these words for granted. Over and over again, my pastor kept telling us to put down every prophecy spoken concerning us. Now I realize why. In days of darkness, when it feels like life has nothing to offer, the words He has spoken is designed to give you hope. Aside this, prophecy, I can say is some sort of road map. It’s almost like headlamps while driving in the middle of a seeming dark night. It gives you a peek into the wonderful future God has in store for you. It gives you something to run with. It gives you something to lean on and hold on to. It gives you something to be happy and cheerful about. It reminds you that God has it covered. It affirms you of your future and what God has planned. It gives you strength to continue your journey. The prophecies I remember are a source of joy to me. So, I’d love to encourage you to write every minute detail of those words spoken to you by God through man. Do not look over them. Read them to yourself morning, night and noon. When the nights seem to close in on you, put them before your eyes. Do not only read them but believe them for God sent them for that purpose. Most of all, run with them because with those words and its initiator, you will get to your expected end safely.

Courtesy,
The Lady with the smiley 😀

Lesson learnt

“I have not departed from Your judgments, For You Yourself have taught me.”-Psalm 119:102

I believe as she passes through life, A wise woman learns from every situation she finds herself in. She learns from the good, the Bad and the ugly. God teaches and she learns and in the end she stands and remains strong and resilient. Here are a few lessons I’ve learnt;

1. Assumptions are the relationship destroyers. They kill the trust in relationships so before you assume and base your conclusions on “what if “, first try “what if not”.
2. There are some things that are not big deals to you but however are huge deals to some others. Be careful how you speak, act or respond to situations. Act out of your spirit not your emotions.
3. Communication is key in every relationship be it platonic or not. Talk things out and try to work it out. Be honest and open in a relationship even if it means being vulnerable. If it doesn’t work out in the end, you know you have nothing to regret.
4. No matter how much you try, if they don’t want you, they don’t want you. Rest in the assuring fact that God wants you and this honey, is certainly enough for you.
5. Apologise genuinely for every mistake you make that you are aware of. It doesn’t kill to apologise. However, it will never be enough for some people. They fail to realize that you are moving towards perfection so in situations like that, for your sanity, apologise and please, KINDLY walk away.
6. No one who truly needs you and acknowledges this fact will ever leave you. Jesus wouldn’t leave you either.
7. Some people are fighting really hard battles in life and want to make you the reason for their many travails and drama. Refuse to be!! Keep things simple and straight.
8. There are times to fight and times to surrender and let go. If it’s worth fighting for, please fight. If you find out it’s a no-win situation, just let go. You’ll later realize that there are some things not worth fighting for after all.
9. Jesus, Yes, Jesus is the only one who can love you completely and perfectly even with all your flaws and shortcomings. If you commit yourself to man, you will be utterly disappointed and not withstanding Love-starved.
10. Respect people. Don’t point out their faults except when necessary. Don’t point accusing fingers. Love people genuinely despite all their faults. Keep no record of wrong done to you after all God doesn’t so why should you?
11. Appreciate people that genuinely love and care for you. Do something tangible for them to always say thank you. Pure love these days is a scarce commodity. You have nothing to lose I tell you.
12. Failure is a process in life. Failure is a journey to success. Failing doesn’t make you a failure. Giving up after failing makes you one. Do not let the fear of failure keep you down. Never give up. Just know that success is just a Bus top ahead.
13. You need wisdom and divine direction to run the affairs of your life wisely. I mean both God’s wisdom and human wisdom so I highly recommend that you spend time praying regularly and you study your bible from back to back.
14. Let a man woo you properly. Do not be in a hurry to give away your heart. Let him follow ‘Due Process’. It’s good for your self-esteem. You are not some cheap commodity. You are virtuous! You are priced far above rubies!! God’s desire for you is that you are sought after and most especially loved….and did I mention that you guard your heart and emotions very jealously?
15. Pain is a refining process in life. If your heart ever gets broken, be rest assured that God will always be there to heal you and make you whole. He never runs out of the ‘balm of Gilead’. Psalm 147:3. So don’t be afraid to go through pain.
16. A virtuous woman is timeless and priceless. She is worth more than fine Gold. Build yourself up to become one.
17. Trust God with your life and know that for this singular reason, you know your life can never go wrong. Allow Him become the lover of your soul
18. As a true virtuous woman, God will send you a true virtuous man and trust me honey, he will be worth your while. So don’t fret, just trust!
19. Love does more giving than receiving

Disclaimer: I’m not a relationship/life expert or anything close to it. I’m just a young girl that has been taught of God. Well, there you have it! Farewell. 🙂