Dear Woman!

Hey there,

I want to speak a little on transiting from single to newly wed.

I have been online a lot. A little too much according to my own judgements. It has also made me think a lot. I’m seeing a lot of single Christian women getting married lately and I’m hoping with all my heart that they are making the right choice. Im hoping they are marrying men after God’s heart. I’m hoping that they are, like I was getting married. I’m anxious because I know how far a bad marriage can wreck her entire life. I’m anxious because forever with a strange man is too long a time to be unhappy.

  

It also made me take inventory of my life. I’m still waiting on God for a partner and so far, I haven’t been praying much. Two days ago, in fact, God summed it up. He said, ‘it’s irresponsibility to not pray about your future.’ I knew God was serious. So I’ve started praying seriously…. About the man, the children, career progression, my plans, my 30s, my 40s, my 50s, pretty much my future.

Sometime ago, Bisi told me how God had warned her before she married Bayo. Bisi is a Christian woman. Bisi is a woman who loved God. She met Bayo in church yet God warned her against marrying him. Days to her wedding ceremony, her heart wanted to pray so much. She gave in and kept at it. She kept praying and praying and then she discovered that Bayo had been keeping affairs with an acquaintance. It broke her. It really broke her and now, it’s silently wrecking her marriage.

You see why I’m anxious. We need healthy marriages and not broken ones. This is why, dear woman of God, I’m writing to you today. Long before you take that step, stop and pray. No, scratch that, pray a lot. Pray and pray and pray. And then trust God. Follow the leading of His Spirit.

Don’t let the beauty and glamour of wearing a ring and having a wedding cause you to rush into a marriage. Don’t let it get you so excited that you don’t follow your inner witness of the Holy Spirit. For what I know, God will never keep you in the dark if you sincerely ask for His opinion and seek His will. If you ask Him to reveal the content of that man’s heart, He sure will. What a godly woman needs is a godly man. In fact, they are a good fit. There is no one better for her than a man that is pursuing God while wooing her heart. We as women of God, need to raise our children in homes that are filled with God so, please pray!

 

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Love, Him, him & your heart

God is the God of love and His desire is that everyday as we walk the earth, we feel loved and we love as well. We however are broken people and at some point in my life, I told people my love meter was broken. I could neither feel love nor reciprocate the love that was shown to me. I had good knowledge of who God was and how he loved me, but I couldn’t just get myself to love. More so, love was a distant concept to me. Something that would never exist in my life nor happen to me. In general I didn’t believe any good thing will come my way. This was mainly because i was broken, I mean heart right broken. This was properly reinforced by broken relationships I was involved in, tales of broken marriages and dysfunctional homes.

Marriage

I believe in God, I believe in love and I believe in marriage. I realized these thoughts were of the enemy and I did well to renew my mind. God is for you and as such, if your desire is to own a successful relationship and better still marriage and home, one filled with God’s love and peace, God is in the business of making that happen. I resolve that I am willing to make my relationship with my partner, even after marriage work and I many times over converse with God about this. I want to start from courtship or dating and transcend into marriage and be happy and blessed all the way through. This I believe, starts with marrying the right individual. By right I mean, with God’s approval and blessings. I have loved men and I have gotten my heart broken, many times because I was neither wise nor discerning. Like many other women, honey, I’m with you. This is why, as a lady in waiting, it will do you well to manage your emotions and control how you feel towards ’em gentlemen. It is not wise to catch feelings just because he’s cute, intelligent, well read, or has plenty money. There should be much more than that.

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Songs of Solomon 8;4 NIV

There’s a school of thought which says there are many different partners God has for you and marrying either one of them is the start of a happy home / marriage. I agree. There is a state of heart and mind in which man and wife, different in many aspects, love, agree and accept each other so much that they are willing to and they submit to each other. They are for each other with each others best interests at heart and they are not afraid to communicate that. They respect and care for each other and their love is reciprocated. When arguments / disagreements arise, they settle in a godly manner, each airing, caring, listening and esteeming the other’s view / opinions. There is no ‘lording over’ from either of them.

Broken homes don’t just come about. It’s safe to say that their foundations were / are broken. A successful home for me, would be a christian home where Christ is both the foundation and the centre.

I was reading Joyce Meyer’s managing your emotions and she mentioned that she thanked God she had a husband that loved her because of his attitude towards her over many years of marriage. Not too many women can boast of this, but it is my desire that as women of God, from the depth of our hearts, we can truly and frankly tell others that our husbands love us because he has not left us in doubt about it.

It will do you a world of good if you reckon yourself a woman of God and more so, worthy of love. Love is for you and if God could give His son to die for you, he will give you His son’s heart again. Follow God’s leading in dating and courtship. Woman of God, ALLOW God lead you. God wants to be your Shepard in choosing a man but you have to give Him the honour to decide who you run off with. Be full of faith in God and His word, knowing that He will give you a man after His heart. God is able to give you exceeding more than you request for. Resolve to obey God. it may be hard but God will never abandon you through your tests. it may be hard but it is never impossible. The bible mentioned His commandments are not burdensome. Sometimes, I negotiate with God but I tell Him I will always obey His final words. If He insists I do it this way, I just do it. Be discerning. Not every man in the church is of the church. Please test the intentions of his heart. Esteem a gentle and quiet spirit. Esteem the proverbs 31 woman. Above all, esteem God and your relationship with Him.

Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful. Songs of Solomon 1; 16, ESV

PS; i’m terribly sorry, i’ve not been around in a while. I promise to be here more often.

Photo credit; Google images.

Truthfully…

Yesterday, I wanted to write something up here being that it’s being 2 or maybe 3 months or even 4 sef that I’ve been MIA. Of cause, I didn’t write because yet again, I had nothing to say.

Weeks back, after hibernating due to many hurtful events in my life, I took some rather bold decisions. The sum of it was confronting my fears… Story for another post.

Meanwhile, today , I stumbled on an Instagram post that read,

“The difference between Jesus and Mohammed.

‘Jesus: ‘I died for you’
‘Mohammed: ‘Kill for me'”

I was a little taken aback, and honestly, I didn’t know what to think at first. Scriptures poured into my head and so I pondered on this. I get the point of trying to evangelise but was that necessary? Was it proper?

Now what’s the real aim of evangelism? Isn’t it to bring in many converts? If your message only brings about much enmity, hasn’t its purpose been defeated? God wishes that none will perish without coming to repentance / without receiving His gift of eternal life. Shouldn’t this be the volume of our messages? Jesus left us one commandment centered on love. Shouldn’t this reflect in our words even to those outside the faith?

I recall Jesus addressing Peter as Satan and Judas as Friend. I want to believe Jesus knew Peter was for Him and Judas wasn’t. I also want to believe Jesus called Judas friend sending him the message of, ‘I’m a friend. I see you as a friend, not an enemy.’  Before Judas even betrayed Him, Jesus washed his feet. Sure you’d say, but Peter betrayed Jesus. however, Peter was still the one who replied Jesus saying, ‘To whom shall we go. Only you possesses the words of eternal life’.

Each time the pharisees tried to put Jesus in trouble via his words, for example, with the government, Jesus automatically went neutral. ‘Give unto Caesar what is Caesars and unto God what’s God. Jesus did not say because Caesar’s government stole from the people, they shouldn’t be given tax. It was only proper he spoke that way. Yet Jesus faced the Pharisees and religious leaders, those I deem members of his own household and spoke hard words at them and boldly went into the temple and threw all the money changers out!

I believe in real & hard talk, (what Paul calls meat) within the christian community. But how do you approach those outside the faith. Do you just slap them with the ‘truth’. Put into consideration not only how and what you say but also how others apart from you will read/perceive it.

It is imperative we speak the truth without spreading hate? I believe we can preach without voicing /spreading hate. We speak the truth in love. It is only wisdom to do that. Wisdom has to guide our utterances. Wisdom has to guide our thoughts and decisions.

The Virtuous Spirit.

Why not share this with someone? Thank you. 🙂

Some Kind of blow

I, being a very observant individual have seen stuff that I tag dysfunctional. I’ve seen the wounded getting wounded and the hurt getting even more hurt. I cringe at every sight of emotional pain. I mean, why should I, in my very right senses, allow myself to be willingly hurt, all in the name of love. Somewhere in my mind, I always turn away sighing, shaking my head and could almost scream shiooor.

Well, that was up until I saw this posted by TobyMac on Facebook

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and he called this one, Loving well.

Honestly, I couldn’t agree more with him. I was a living witness gon. There probably is no way, you’d love any other human with so much baggage (or even perfectly normal) and not be hit with the impact of their wounds. It’s the burden of sacrifice embedded in love. I wouldn’t expect to enter into a relationship without getting some kind of blow. I guess in the end, I wanna be that person that is bold enough to share another’s emotional pain. i ain’t looking for perfect. It is the hurt that I’m most attracted to just for the sake of allowing Christ pour out His healing and love the other through me. There really isn’t love without some kind of sacrifice. Truly, there isn’t.

Digressing not so much, I see couples who love each other but cannot be vulnerable to their other and I know that that situation is a lose-lose situation. For me, marriage is the height of love and commitment. If I knew I didn’t love that person enough to be vulnerable in the relationship, I really shouldn’t have proceeded to marriage. I mean, who would build a house without first counting the cost?  I mean who??

In a situation where both parties seem to be carrying emotional wounds, communication, in love is key. Openness, allowing yourself be vulnerable, the willingness to allow your other help you carry your burden goes a long way to heal both parties. The willingness to see to the healing of the other party add up too in its own way. I believe that in some regard, It’s kindness to allow the other in on your troubles and hurt. I continue to think, God brings friends, lovers, people together to help them carry each other’s burdens.

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I never thought Ecc 4;9- 12 talked about just lovers. I also think, to some respect, It could talk about two friends that love each other like  Jonathan and David, or even three of similar nature. The last verse also says, a three-fold cord cannot easily be broken. Amazing!!! I think so too.

Remember, this works when the parties are willing to stick around each other.When one side is working actively and the other side is not willing to help make things better, it can be equal to beating a dead horse. Exit is valid. In all, I think all events are put together by God and so, in all we are to work on God’s instructions and counsel.

Yours truly,

Virtuous Spirit

 

Yielded

I just knew I had to write this. Here goes…

A turn of events have made me more self-aware to say the very least. It was more like, up until recently, I was in a state of hibernation where all my feelings were kept to sleep. Now all have risen to help me feel a mix of so many things, including the realization of my existence. I realize I had this beautiful life to live, which is still very young. I could choose a path and succeed on it. I could be that one thing my heart desired to be. I could fully live life unhindered. I could pursue my dreams and not care about whoever. But in it all, a few thoughts slipped through my mind.

It even became more potent as I read something posted by CJ Nweke on Facebook.

I love the way you fall under the anointing. I can tell you will make a meek wife. You are so yielded to the Holy Ghost.

#Christian Pickup Lines from BroFarai

It made me laugh and sent a beautiful sensation coursing through me. In a mix all the emotions/activity, the word yielded, stood out for me. I totally loved the idea of a meek woman and wife. One with a gentle and quiet spirit. One yielded to the Holy Spirit of the Living God.

Consequently, the Holy Spirits gentle whisper falls on my heart as I sat and pondered…

Did you realize God wants you to submit your will to Him in everything? He gave you that will but wants you to give it back to Him in surrender and submission. He made you more aware that you have an executable will and that you own it but in contrast, wants to build Character in you by  asking you to lay it down to pick up His.

His message was clear. My season of awareness is deliberate. God was moving me further in Character. He has set me in a place where I willingly (Body, soul and spirit especially my mind, that is for me) surrenders to God’s will. It’s a type of training we all must go through and God, helps us each step of the way.

The crux of my message is, as we walk with God, He will give us our will just because he wants us to teach us to lay it down. Yeah! That’s how God works. He tests our heart by asking us to lay our will. This primarily includes obeying the word in everything. It’s our choice to make. We in turn, are filled with all the fruits of righteousness (the Spirit), are sincere and without offence till the day of Jesus Christ and have God pleased with us. It’s such a blessing to have a God to obey!

Shalom!

 

Lately

Writing after a very long hiatus, I am plagued with the feeling, ‘Do they really still wanna read anything from me?’ This partially explains why most times, I have stopped myself from completing, much more posting articles up here. I do not consider myself a writer by nature, but someone who just happened to find out that she wasn’t so bad at skillfully putting words together.

Meanwhile, I’ve been going through life’s experiences, learning from them of course. I’ve also been reading a lot because this seems to be the only available activity ready to keep my mind busy. Well, asides TV and sleeping of course. I noticed that I am getting better at expressing myself and I’m becoming even more meticulous with respect to writing. I love English and I hope to develop myself in this art to its fullest.

Lately, as curiosity will have it, I have been watching a lot of crime investigation cases on the crime channels on DStv and somewhere in between, I wish I studied criminal science or criminology or forensic science. The best  Nigeria could offer me was psychology which my mum thoroughly dissuaded me from studying. I ended up with…. That asides the point, I watched the documentary of a young college student who fell prey in the hands of a psycho-killer. She was murdered by this man who had no good reason under the sun to commit this act. He in actual fact, just wanted to show his neighbours in the community that he could do anything he wanted. This lady, who had just come home from college, went out with her parent’s car to get gas, was abducted by this man, was compelled by him to drive into the woods, was overpowered, killed and her body dumped in a lake. This man was actually standing across the street where she packed getting gasoline. He walked up to her and that was how she came to her unfortunate end.

It struck a cord in me as I heard the comment passed by the detective handling her case. He said, ‘This is an unfortunate situation with no reason for the murder. She just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Oops! Do I hear you say Wow! My sentiments exactly. How do we protect ourselves from being at the wrong place at the wrong time? Prayers! I am reminded of incidents pertaining to stray-bullet victims, victims of a random-crime act and the World Trade Centre incident on Sept 11, 2001. Some people had testimonies of not going there that particular day, obviously because God somehow prevented them. It just made me understand that we can’t afford to live life carelessly without guarding ourselves with the power of prayer. Some one said, when we pray, we’ll be putting our angels to work. They’ll be preventing and averting destruction for our sake. Prayers can never be underestimated!

Also, for me, faith is a lifetime lesson I’m still learning. Learning to lean on God and trust wholly. I’m learning to believe His word against all odds. Learning to believe His word even when my whole being is screaming out of fear. It’s quite hard I must confess but it’s not without the assurance of victory.

After all, “The Just shall live by faith” and nothing else! So I’d leave you with some of Jesus’ words,

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God bless you!
Shalom!

Why not share this with someone? Thank you. 🙂

Son of God, would you?

For the love of my master
I, Son of man was born
Flesh and blood, I was formed
Frail and mortal, I chose to come

I groaned through dark nights
I prayed until my life I could offer
I hung on that stake
Naked, not ashamed
Determination, boldly written on my face

For the love of my Father
I bought back my siblings
I was poured out, a drink offering
I left empty, stripped of life

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I gave up all that was to be clung to
That He might gain Sons
Because it pleased Him
That He should be called Father
By the works of His fingers

I took on the form of a servant
Humbly, I carried the cross
Obedient even till i felt death’s sting
Till i died in Golgotha

I counted my life as nothing
Will you do the same for Him
For the one you claim to love?
For the ones I showed I love?
For the ones He carved in His image

Son of God,
Would You?

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Why not share this with someone? Thank you. 🙂

Within her…

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God is within her…

Fierce, Virtuous
Immensely graceful
Clad with strength and dignity
Drunk with new wine

Her hands, inscribing skillfully
Her master’s sword
Fighting, tearing down walls
Wining hearts to Himself

Her lips, they sing a song
The sounds so melodious
On a mission to speak of her King
To tell tales of His wondrous love

Her heart, His royal throne
Raised high that all men may see
That men may behold the beauty of His majesty

Purple garments, fine linen lace her skin
Beauty underneath, excellent spirit within
Wisdom, kindness grace her speech
Scarlet taught He her to cover him, her gift

Her heart, a city
Fortified by His power
Garrisoned by His presence
From dusk to dawn, He shields it

God is within…

Beneath silk and skin

And bones and blood

God is within her virtuous spirit…

God is within her, she CANNOT fall.

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Postscript: Fierce (adj); of exceptional quality, showing boldness or chutzpah

Dealing with rejection from people

Hey guys,

Disclaimer: This is a topic I thought hard about and employed the wisdom of the Holy Spirit and the Bible to help me write. It may not be all-encompassing but I’m sure it will provide a platform with which the Holy Spirit can further instruct you.

Many, I mean most of us have had it rough in life. We have been rejected by people and it’s most painful when it comes from loved ones. Early in my walk with God, I was taught I will not always be accepted by men for many reasons most especially because I am a Christian. My pastor always reminded us (not in his exact words) that a christian should and must learn to develop thick-skin to criticism, mockery and rejection. The truth there is, because of inexperience, pretty many of us break under it and allow bitterness, resentment and anger to set in and we know that these vices destroy. I mean but, we are only human yeah? I totally get you. We have all been there! The feelings just dwell in our sub-conscious mind and without being aware, we act it out.

Interestingly, Jesus was very familiar with rejection. Let’s check out scripture;

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Isaiah 53:3, kjv

So this Man knows what it is you are going through! I mean, the guys He came for rejected him yet, He was a sinless Man. The pharisees rejected and openly confronted Jesus and He wasn’t bothered for once. This was because His heart was right with God. I love that part! Note that, people will love you, I mean, every well-meaning person will love you because grace has got you covered but some will reject you. They will maybe because they have been hurt in times past or they are just plain jealous. Not to worry, you shouldn’t worry.

The bible admonishes us to live at peace with all men as much as we can. Sometimes even when we try to make peace, some people wont just let us be. They abhor us for no good reason. Do not fret when you are rejected by men especially if it is for the gospel’s sake but it is advisable that you check yourself. Their rejecting you may make you feel you did something wrong to them. I’d say, check your conscience to see if that person is just acting out a reflex response. This is to maintain peace with God and man. If you had offended such a person, it is only proper for you to restore that relationship by apologising. God will have you set things straight and not defend yourself irrespective of what the person did. This fosters humility and peace. However, if we are rejected for no just cause, we should never dwell on it. Do not let it linger in your mind for it is a potential stronghold if you nurse it. You would have a peaceful conscience and that’s all you need have.

Most often than not, I know that for those who are not strong emotionally, repeated rejection leads to low self-esteem/self worth. We don’t feel so good after being rejected especially when you have good intentions. Now be reminded that your worth lies in God’s word. Don’t look down on you. You are beautiful! You are loved! You are God’s treasure and you are of great value to him. He loves you and cherishes you so much. Do not let another’s actions drown out His opinion of you. I mean,

He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Romans 8:32, kjv

Isn’t it someone who loves and cherishes that could possibly give His most priced possession to another man for that man’s benefit?

I thought so too…

It is also wisdom to guard our hearts because it is the core of our lives. Jesus never committed himself to men and it would only be wise for us to do the same. He didn’t trust men easily because he knew what was in their hearts. We shouldn’t let the opinions and actions of men affect us negatively and create bitterness in our hearts. God however wants us to love others. 1 Corinthians 13 gives us a picture of what love looks like. You should check it out again.We should leave allowance for people’s faults. Now the difference is that you can go the extra mile out of love for a person not expecting that person to reciprocate. You love not necessarily expecting to be loved in return or for the sole purpose of being loved. If you love for that reason, you’d end up a frustrated individual. You just love because it pleases your Heavenly Father that you do so.

Again, do not commit your emotions to men. Most people suffer hurt after rejection because the put all their emotions into those who rejected them. Instead, commit your emotions to God. You know whatever you keep in God’s hands is safe right? Let your loving another be a response to the love that flows inside of you for your Heavenly Father. This doesn’t make your love towards men less genuine or true. It even makes it better. We don’t love people because they have done right. We love them for it is right! Let people earn your trust before you throw it at them. Let the Holy Ghost guide you on who to trust and then trust them wholly.

On a final note, if ever you find yourself hurting after rejection, I’m pleased to inform you that Our God, Jehovah, still has healing in His wings. If He did it for me, He can do it for you. He loves you enough to make you whole. He loved you before creation began, He hasn’t changed yet and He isn’t about to change His mind! Talk to God a lot. Bare out your heart to him in prayer,

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1peter 5:7, KJV

Shalom!

Yea and Amen!

Staring into the clear night filled with a vast array of stars, I couldn’t help but admire God’s handiwork again. Amongst many others, the dark starry sky clearly reveals God’s magnificence and awesomeness in all of creation. The stars laid beautifully over the dark sky giving it diverse patterns. The stars seemed delighted to be kept up there. They seemed delighted to shine and illuminate the dark sky giving anyone one who bothered to look up some pleasant rush of emotion! I mean, they were just blinking away! That feeling that God must have had when He took a look at His works and saw that they were good swept over me. I felt good just gazing at them. It gave me something to think about. As i stared some more, I remember reading how God took Abraham out into a similarly dark and starry night and promised him descendants as numerous as the stars.

It was that same night Abraham believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness. It must have stood as a memorial for him each time he looked into the dark sky. Interestingly, not only did it stand as a memorial for him, but also did serve as a memorial for me. It left a quiet reassurance deep down in my heart. I looked into the sky and i was reminded that, not only does God gives promises, he also fulfills promises. He did it for Abraham. He’ll fulfil His promises in your life too. We and every other Christian in the world are God’s promises fulfilled to Abraham and He left us with not only stories of Abraham’s walk with Him but also with the stars in the sky.

Just as the stars give meaning to the dark and plain sky, so does God give meaning to every life that dares to approach Him, trust and believe on His name. He gives beauty for ashes. Your life may not seem any thing close to beautiful right now but be rest assured that He will like shiny stars, twinkle and brighten up your life. He is set to do things that will blow your mind.

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He hath made every thing beautiful in his time . . . Ecc 3:11a, KJV

This includes your life. He will beautify your life. It is His promise to you. There is no panic and doubt in this one for “for all the promises of God in him (Jesus) are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us.” Can I get an Amen? Hallelujah!

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord , and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord , that he might be glorified. Isaiah 61:1-3, KJV

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Shalom!

Image credits: believe.com, kcm.org